Bishoujo Senshi Minako Moon
by lovehinalover
Summary: What if it were to be that before the end of the original SM series they had discovered that Usagi was in deed not the Moon Princess? My first Humor attempt!


Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon in any way shape or form, the characters are copywright Naoko Takeuchi!

Hope you enjoy!

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"What are you trying to say Luna?" Usagi asked in a confused tone.  
  
"Well Usagi it would appear wee made a mistake, the real Moon Princess is Minako." The black cat concluded with an exasperated sigh, awaiting the onslaught of questions she was sure to get.  
  
Everyone stared at her in disbelief and screamed, "WHAT?!"

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The five girls are walking down the street, Minako is staring dreamily into space, "So I'm the Moon Princess afterall... Oh Mamoru!"  
  
Usagi glared daggers at her, "Hey! You may be the Princess but Mamoru is still MINE you hear me?!" She shrieked with fury almost directly into Minako's ear, though she just stared starry-eyed off into the void.  
  
Mamoru walked up behind the group of girls, "Hey, I heard the big news." He says with a grin.   
  
Usagi spins around, "Mamoru!" She yelled in delight and leapt at him in a tackle-glomp only to be knocked aside as Mamoru brushed past her causing her to hit the ground with a loud 'thump'.  
  
"Oh Minako, now we can truely be happy together... You always made a better princess than that dumb odango head!" Mamoru said, clasping her hand is his and staring just as dreamily into her eyes as she had been into thin air.  
  
Minko was beaming, "You mean it! Then we won't have to hide out love anymore, Oh Mamoru take me now!" She squealed, leaping into his arms and disappearing with him as he raced down the street, waving at four her bewildered friends.  
  
Usagi sunk to the ground as she watched them run off together, tears streamed from her eyes and down her cheeks, she whispered "Why... WHY!!!" She screamed so loud it seemed her voice would crack or give out.  
  
"FUCK!" Makoto and Rei yelled in unison, both girls quickly turning and each slamming their fist into the brick wall along side them which quickly crumbled to the ground. The two girls looked down at their own bleeding fist.  
  
"I wanted Mamoru!" Makoto pouted, "He should have been fair gave after unloading Usagi, even if Minako is the princess!"  
  
"I wanted Minako!" Rei yelled, "She should have been fair game even if she got Usagi out of the way and she is the princess!"  
  
"Listen guys," Ami inturrupted, trying to reason with the three hysterical girls, "This is the way things were destined to be! Minako deserves Mamoru because... well... it was destined! She smiled hopefully.  
  
Usagi, Rei, and Makoto all turn burning holes into her flesh with their hatred filled eyes. "Guys? Um, guys?" Ami whimpered, "MERCY!!!!!"

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Usagi, Rei, and Motoko all sat on the ground Ami tied, gagged, unconcious, and badly beaten lying in front of the three girls. They all let out a large sigh, "Mamoru!!!" Usagi wails recieving a punch in the head from Rei, "Shut the fuck up crybaby!"  
  
Makoto wrings her hands togther and cracks her knuckles, "We need to come up with a plan..."  
  
Rei smirks, "Yeah, Get back at Mamoru for his womanizing!" Her face turns dismal, "Poor Minako... Did you see how scared she was as he took her away?!" She was off in her own little world, tears welling in her eyes, "Oh why didn't I save her?!"  
  
Makoto gave her an odd stare and sighed sweatdropping, "That wasn't what I meant, but revenge on Mamoru sounds good."  
  
"Don't hurt Mamoru! I loooove him!" Usagi pleaded to Makoto only ro have her ponytails grabbed and her head wrenched around to face Rei.  
  
"You wanna look like miss optimistic?!' She demanded, motioning with a nod of her head to Ami who still lie unconsious before them on the sidewalk, a large pool of bloob beginging to form beneather for a large headwound. Usuagi shook her head in fear with tears in her large doe-y eyes.  
  
"Thats it, I've got the perfect plan." Makoto exclaimed with enthusiasm and an evil grin, "Come with me." She said standing up, dragging Ami along the pavement behind her, a large blood trail that was begining to attract some amount of concerned attention forming behind them. Rei followed with Usagi reluctantly trailing behind the two.

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"Matoko, I only have one question." Rei said, obviously irritated.  
  
"Eh? Whats that?" She asked, studying Rei.  
  
"Why in the hell are we at the arcade?!" Rei shouted, attracting the attention of more than a few patrons.  
  
Matoko shrugged, "Why not... and there is that." She pointed to Motoki with a big grin, smacking him on the butt when he walked past the girls, much to his astonished confusion.  
  
Rei frowned, "Ok, so what is this great plan of yours?" She asked, kicking Usagi who was struggling on the ground, now also tied up and gagged although not yet beaten.  
  
"Hmmmm, oh yea. Its simple." She leaned in close to Rei's ear, describing 'the plan' in a very secretive manor. She smirked as she pulled back.  
  
"Um, Makoto... All you did was stick your tongue in my ear for about a minute..." Rei said, a bit unnerved as she sweatdropped, the only person she wanted doing that was Minako!  
  
Makoto laughed, "Oh, I didn't think you'd notice." She laughed some more before leaning back next to a very cautious and apprehensive Rei Hino and re-telling her plan.  
  
"I dunno, do you really think that'll work. I mean, there is no way of knowing for sure..." She trailed off, she would much rather just go over and beat Mamoru into a bloody pulp.  
  
Makoto nodded affermitively, "I'm positive, besides if it doesn't work I can always plant this cocaine on him." She said with a shrug, producing the drug from her pocket.  
  
Rei sweatdropped, "Uh, yea. Its a great plan then..." She trailed off and bent down to untie Usagi, taking the gag from her mouth she asked in a stern tone, "Are you going to behave for me?" Usagi nodded with a soft whimper, "ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!" She commanded, recieving a few glances once again from the people in the arcade.  
  
"Yes!" Usagi cried out, rubbing her wrists as they were untied by Rei. Usagi was a bit afraid, especially since she had no idea of Matoko's plan and would have to go along with it no matter what.  
  
"Lets put the plan into action girls!" Matoko said, a large smile on her face.

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Minako and Mamoru are sitting in his bed, he is smoking a cigarette while Minako droned on about nothing in particular, mainly meaningless idol ramble. Mamoru nods his head every now and again although he is obviously not listening from the smile on his face, he turns to her, "How old are you again?"   
  
The door to the bedroom suddenly comes crashing in, a few police officers with guns aimed at the couple come into the room yelling, "Get away from the minor you sick bastard!" Their expressions are cold. Makoto can be seen in the main room of the apartment, crying to a police officer, Rei standing at her side and looking unammused and Usagi trembling as she watches the events in the bedroom from afar.  
  
Mamoru is dragged out wearing only a pair of boxers, "I swear I didnt know she was only 14!!!" The cop escorting him scoffs "Yea and next you will tell me you didn't know that other girl that you assaulted was only 14 as well, that little blue haired one... sicko." He walked him out the door of the apartment as MInako wanders out of the bedroom in her underclothes.   
  
Rei runs over and embraces her, "I was so afraid!" She wails, wrapping Minako in a tight hug.  
  
"Whats going on?" Minako asked, confused and bewildered by the police's sudden entrance and a bit suprised at the hug she was recieving.  
  
"Didn't you know?! Mamoru beat up Ami! Plus he shoved Usagi and Makoto claims he... I won't go into that." Rei said with a sigh, "I'm just so glad your ok!" She said, one hand moving to Minako's breast.  
  
Minako just sort of stared at Rei with a blank expression, her eyes trailing down to the girls hand which was seeming to excite the male officers. Rei smiled at her devilishly, "Come on." She said grabbing her wrist and running with her from the room, "Don't come after uuuuuussssss!!!!" She yelled back as they disappeared.  
  
Makoto sighed, "Boy this sailor scout job sure is tougher than I though." She said leaping back on the couch in Mamoru's living room. Usagi slapping her and walking out of the room. Makoto shrugged and pulled out the cocaine.

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I wrote this all in a span of 2 hours on and off at around 4 a.m. so if there are gramatical errors galore I appologise. My first time trying to write a humorous fanfic so I have no idea how it turned out. Opinions are greatly appretiated, if I get good reviews then maybe I will add onto this or something Dunno.  
  
Mokoti = Andrew the arcade guy in the English version


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